Pool Party
by Moonchampion
Summary: Kitty Pryde wins a radio contest. What does she win? A date with the wise-crackin' merc who has a vendetta against Logan. Has Mystique finally found a way to rid herself of Xavier's X-Men?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, or any of its original characters. Nor do I have any type of claim to those characters. However, the characters of my creation belong to me, and cannot be used without my permission.

****

Pool Party

By

Moonchampion

Kitty lay perfectly still as the rays of the sun soaked her skin. She tipped her sunglasses to the bridge of her nose as she turned to glance at her friends beside her. Also lying on lawn chairs next to the pool were Kitty's friends, Jean Grey and Rogue. All three teens were sporting bikinis as they lounged under the sun.

"Oh isn't this great?" exclaimed Kitty. "A whole week without Darkholme and her lackeys! I love Spring Break!"

"Yeah," agreed Rogue. "For once we get to be normal teenagers. We don't have to worry about hiding from Mystique, or some furry psychopath trying to kill us. We have a whole week to do nothing, but rest and relax."

Suddenly, each of the young ladies felt small objects land on their bodies and explode on impact. The girls leaped out of their lawn chairs to find that they had been the victims of a water balloon attack. The girls looked at each other to find that they had all been drenched. Then, the laughter broke out. The girls looked all around to find where their attackers were hidden.

"There! By the pool house!" shouted Rogue.

The laughter came to an immediate halt. Kurt Wagner and Evan Daniel immediately stood tall and prepared to flee the scene. As they started to race as fast as their feet would carry them, they found that they were unable to move. Their legs were in motion, but they were trapped in place. Then, they felt their bodies being pulled into the air and floating towards the pool.

"Whoa! Jean don't do it! We're sorry! Really!" Evan pleaded. Evan looked down to find that they were being telekinetically pulled over the pool.

"Well, what do you say ladies?" asked Jean. "Do we show mercy or dump 'em in?"

"I say we dump 'em," said Rogue enthusiastically.

"Yeah!" agreed Kitty.

"Sorry boys," said Jean. Then, she released her telekinetic hold on Kurt and Evan. Evan fell into the pool immediately. Kurt managed to disappear in the middle of the air and land on the other side of the pool. Evan pulled himself to the surface of the pool, spouting water from his mouth.

"Ha ha!" Kurt laughed. "You have to get up pretty early to get this blue prankster."

"Oh really, Elf?" said Kitty. Kurt turned his attention to her direction to find the water hose on full blast and headed directly toward him. Without enough time to react, the water hit its mark. After a few seconds of flushing the blue-furred prankster Kitty broke off her attack. "Gotcha!"

Kurt's hair was lying flat against his face. He brought his hands to his face to brush the wet hair out of his face. "That vas so uncalled for!" said Kurt, sounding angry. "You didn't need to use the water hose. You should have used this!" Kurt pulled from the back of his swimming trunks a super soaker hand gun. He aimed the toy at Kitty and fired.

Kitty brought up her hands to shield herself from the attack. Kurt them turned the weapon in the direction of Jean and Rogue. All the girls began to squeal with laughter. The girls also found themselves under attack from Evan who was also firing a super soaker. Kitty began to fire the hose at Kurt again to ward off his attack. Jean started to use her telekinetic powers to re-direct Evan's water attacks back at him.

Eventually, all the kids found themselves in the pool splashing each other. The fun continued for quite a while as their usual concerns of training and fighting villains faded as distant memories. The water-play came to a complete stop when they realized that they were being watched. The teens stared up at the side of the deck to find one of their instructors, Logan, watching them with his arms folded in disapproval.

"Heh. Hi Logan. Vould you like to join us? The vater's great!" said Kurt nervously.

"You kids should be in the Danger Room with Cyclops," said Logan.

"Oh come on, Logan," said Kitty. "It's Spring Break. We were just having a little fun. Can't you cut us some slack?"

"Do you think Mystique's going to cut you some slack?" Logan replied. "Everyone out of the pool and in the Danger Room in fifteen minutes. Just because Ororo and the Professor are in D.C. for the week, don't mean you get to slack off on your trainin'." Logan turned and headed back to the main house.

"Oh well, look's like the fun's over," said Jean as she climbed out of the pool. She grabbed her towel and began to dry herself. After a series of moans and groans, the others proceeded to follow her lead. After wrapping themselves in towels, the group of teens headed for the main house.

Suddenly, as they approached the door, "Heads up!" they heard someone shout. As they looked upwards, they found themselves doused with a tub of water. After the shock of the water lacing their bodies had passed, the teens looked up to find that they had been the victims of a prank. Scott and Logan were standing above with a pair of buckets in their hands. "I warned you guys to hit the Danger Room first," added Scott.

"All right, joke's over," said Logan. "You kids get dried up and prepare for lunch."

As the kids, dripping with water, entered the house they heard the phone ring. "I'll get it!" said Kitty as she dashed towards the phone. The phone only managed to get off one ring before she answered it. "Hello."

"Hi, is this Kitty Pryde?" said the man on the phone.

"Yeah?" answered Kitty suspiciously.

"Well, Kitty, prepare to die," responded the man. "'Cause this is Willie "the Poolman" Wade from WDED 91.1 FM. You are the grand prize winner!"

"Ahhhhh!" screamed Kitty at the top of her lungs. Within three seconds, everyone in the house was in the room. Kurt teleported into the room still wrapped in his towel. Logan appeared at the entrance to the kitchen with his claws unleashed. Everyone else was clambering down the stairs ready for action. "I won! I won!"

"Somebody get a muzzle for this kid," said Logan as he disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Hello, Kitty are you still there?" asked the Poolman.

"Yeah, I'm here," she answered.

"Well, you know the challenge isn't' over yet. At 10 o'clock tonight, you and five of your friends will enter the Graveyard where you have the chance to make the measly $1000 you've won into a cool million," said the Poolman. "Are we going to see you at the Graveyard, or are you going to take the thousand and run scared?"

Kitty hesitated. She didn't know what to do. She turned and looked towards her friends for help. "What do I do guys? Take the thousand or go for the million?"

"Take the thousand, Kitty! Take the thousand!" chimed Kurt.

"Elf are you flunking math or something?" asked Evan. 

"Sorry, I just got caught up in the excitement," said Kurt.

"Kitty, I need an answer," said the Poolman.

"I'm going for the million!" said Kitty. Her friends began to roar with excitement. Each of them exchanging hugs and high fives over the excitement that they were about to have the chance to win a million dollars.

"All right, Kitty!" said the Poolman. "Why don't you stay on the line, so that the studio director can give you the directions. After that, we'll see you tonight when you and your friends step into… The Graveyard!" The phone clicked and the next voice Kitty heard was that of the director rambling off directions into her ear.

"Yeah, I've got it. Thanks!" Kitty hung up the phone and turned to her friends. "Oh boy! We're going to be rich!" she said as she squealed next to her friends and joined in the group celebration.

"All right, move it kids. The grub's gettin' cold," said Logan from the doorway. Then, he turned around, and went back into the kitchen.

"Oh no! How are we supposed to get around Logan?" asked Rogue. "He'll never let us stay out that late."

"Don't worry about it guys," said Scott. "I think I know how to keep him busy while we take the challenge. Trust me." The others began to huddle around Scott as he revealed his plan. After a series of whispers and snickers of approval, the teens moved into the kitchen to eat lunch.

"Are ya sure ya got all that?" said the woman into the phone as she chewed on some gum and twirled her blonde hair around her finger. Her voice was loud and squeaky, but the young girl on the other end said she had the instructions down. "See ya tonight, hon. Good luck!" The woman hung up the phone and looked towards the door as it opened. The Poolman entered the control booth with a tropical shirt, a pair of shorts, and a pair of sandals. His face however was covered with a red mask with large black circles surrounding his eyes. Still slits were cut in those circles, so that he could see.

The woman sitting at the panel began to rise out of her chair. As she did so, her skin began to turn blue and her blonde hair red. Mystique removed a small wrapped envelope filled with cash from behind her back. "Here you are, Mr. Wilson. $10,000 down payment. Are you sure you will be able to eliminate Xavier's troops?"

"Lady, I am the best there is at what I do. Trust me this ain't nothing but a walk in the park," said the Poolman as he grabbed the envelope and surveyed it's contents. "Are _you_ sure Logan will show up to save these pups?"

"I'm certain of it," replied Mystique. "Why the interest in Logan? He's not the mark I'm paying you to eliminate."

"Consider it a bonus, Toots," replied the Poolman in a Cagney-like voice. Then, he chuckled, "I ain't seen that ol' scamp in twenty years. I reckon it's 'bout time for a reunion," he said sounding like an old southerner.

"I don't care what your reasons are. Just make sure you get the job done. Understand?" said Mystique. "Do you even know what it at stake here?"

"Frankly, Scarlet," began the Poolman sounding like Clarke Gable, "I don't give a…."

"Enough!" interrupted Mystique. "I have had it with these impersonations. Just get the job done!" Mystique turned and stormed out of the room, re-assuming the shape of the blonde woman upon exiting.

The Poolman remained in the room and continued to gaze through the envelope. Besides the money he also saw photos and information on these "X-Men," as Mystique had called them. "Well, well," he said as he looked through the information. "Logan, you've gone from an special ops agent to a babysitter. If only the rest of the group could see ya now."

The Poolman placed the photos on the control panel. He rolled back a portion of his mask to reveal that at least the bottom portion of his face had been burned and mutilated. The scene was absolutely horrible. He brought a cigar to his lips and prepared to light it. "Get ready, Logan! Your world is about to crumble to the ground!" He spread his hands up in the air, and sounding like Jim Carrey in the Mask, "It's Showtime!"

"Wilson! What am I paying you for! Get back in the booth! You've only got 30 seconds left!" said his boss after opening the door and entering the control booth. The man was going bald, overweight and smoking a cigar as well. "Didn't I tell you there's no smoking in here! This crap is expensive! Now move your tail!"

"You know boss," said Wilson as he turned around, "you never let me have any fun."

"Oh my God," said the boss. His cigar fell from his mouth and landed on the floor. "What happened to your face?"

"Oh let me show ya," said Wilson. He grabbed his boss by the collar and began to grind his face against the control panel. Sparks began to fly and the screams of his boss filled the airwaves. After his body's boss fell limp, and the man lay on the floor whimpering Wilson grabbed the microphone in the control booth. "I'm sorry kiddies. We're apparently experiencing technical differences, but you know that don't stop the Poolman. So like Limp Bizkit, we're keep this thing rollin' rollin' rollin' huh!" He pressed a button on the panel, and after several sparks Limp Bizkit's single "Rollin'" began to play.

"Oh yeah, boss," said Wilson as he kneeled next to his boss, "I quit." Wilson gathered the scattered contents of the envelope Mystique had given him. Then, he proceeded to walk out the door. "I hate it when guys think they push me around. Wade Wilson, a.k.a. Deadpool, answers to no man!" Wilson pressed the button on the elevator and looked at his watch. "Aw crap! My rent's late. The old lady's gonna have my head!" he whined as the elevator bell chimed. He stepped into the elevator and stomped his foot frustrated that he'd have to pay his rent along with the late fee.

TO BE CONTINUED… 


	2. The Element of Fear

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, or any of its original characters

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, or any of its original characters. Nor do I have any type of claim to those characters. However, the characters of my creation belong to me, and cannot be used without my permission.

****

The Element of Fear

(Pool Party Part II)

By

Moonchampion

The six teens at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters observed Logan as he lounged on the couch watching a basketball game on television. Logan tipped a bottle up towards his mouth. When he removed it, a loud belch escaped his lips. Kitty started to squeal at the sound, but was quickly hushed by her teammates. Logan turned his head, but found no one standing in the doorway. After a few seconds, he turned around and the teens continued their surveillance.

"This ain't gonna work," whispered Evan.

"Of course it will," replied Scott as a smile began to spread across his face. "Are you ready Jean?"

Jean nodded. Cyclops pulled his cell phone from his pocket, and proceeded to dial. After a few seconds, the phones around the mansion started to ring to life. The kids watched Logan as he became agitated.

"Hey, somebody wanna grab that?" called Logan into the air. There was no response. "Doesn't anyone else hear that?!" There was still no response. The only sounds that replied were the continued ringing of the phone and voices from the television. "Lazy kids," Logan muttered to himself. "Hello."

"Logan, it's me, Professor Xavier," said Scott into the phone. Kurt started to giggle, but was hushed by Rogue jabbing him in his ribs with her elbow. "Logan, I'm sorry to call so late, but we need you to come and pick us up at the airport."

"What're you talking about? I thought you said the conference was gonna last a couple of days," replied Logan.

"Well, it's been postponed. I'll explain it later. We should be landing in about half an hour," said Scott.

"All right, I'm leavin' now," Logan said. Logan clicked the phone off and rose from his seat. "Hey troops, front and center." The teens quickly filed into the room to find an agitated look on his face. "Listen the Prof.'s comin' home early. I have to pick him and 'Ro up at the airport. Any of you taggin' along for the ride?"

"No thanks, Logan," said Kurt. The blue-furred teen disappeared in an explosion of brimstone and appeared on the couch. "Ve kinda vanted to catch this horror movie marathon."

The other students all started to file into the couch and on the floor near the television. Logan scratched his chin and eyed the kids suspiciously. Then, he placed his hand on his temple and shook his head. "Fine. We should be back in a couple of hours. You kids stay outta trouble." Logan then picked up his jacket and headed towards the front door.

"Don't worry Logan," Scott yelled after him. "We have everything under control." After hearing the front door shut, shouts of applause erupted from the teens. "Way to go, Jean. You did great!"

"It was easy making Logan think he was talking to Professor instead of you Scott," replied Jean. "I just hope the telepathic suggestion of going to the airport holds long enough for us to get to the Graveyard and back."

"Don't sweat it, Jean," said Kurt. "Ve'll be back long before Logan vill."

"Besides, if we come back with the money, I doubt anyone would mind," said Rogue.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" chimed Kitty. "Let's go!"

The teens all rose to their feet and headed out of the room. They dashed out the front door, and into Scott's convertible. Once each of them filed into the car and fastened their seat belts, Scott revved the engine. Then, the red convertible raced through the main gate and disappeared into the darkness of the night.

"This is way creepy," said Jean as she wrapped her arms around Scott's right arm.

The rest of the team looked ahead of them to find a dimly lit wooden shack. They slowly marched towards the front door. Once they reached the doorway, they all gulped and glanced around at each other. Eventually, all of the eyes fell onto Kurt. The blue-furred elf made a loud gulp as he extended his hand and pushed open the door. The silence of the night was broken by the sound of a loud, eerie creek.

The teens crowded very closely to each other as they tried to squeeze through the doorway. The discovered that the shack was deserted and empty. The only items to be found were six headset communicators with microphones and a computer. Once all six of the kids had entered, the door slammed shut.

The children all screamed as they clasped onto each other. After a few moments of pure panic, they began to calm down and approach the computer. Scott picked up the headsets, and started passing them down.

"Hey y'all," said Rogue. Everyone turned towards her to find that she was pointing at the computer. "Look at the screen." The screen had come to life, and a message has appeared. The message simply said: Hello, Kitty. Are you ready for the Graveyard ?

Everyone turned towards Kitty. She slowly walked towards the computer and sat in the chair in front of the console. As her fingers danced across the key, the message was replaced with a map, a set of directions, and a chart assigning everyone a color.

"So, Kitty? Vat do ve do?" asked Kurt.

"Well, it looks like each color has an assignment to complete," explained Kitty as she read the directions on the screen. "Some of us will work in pairs, but the rest have to do the job solo."

"I don't like the sound of that," said Scott. "Maybe we should…."

"Oh come on, Scott," said Evan. "Don't tell me you're getting cold feet now."

"Yeah, it's just a radio contest, Scott," said Rogue. "The most they'll do is try to scare us outta here."

"I'm glad you're so confident Rogue," interrupted Kitty, "because you're first."

"Huh?!" gasped Rogue.

"Kitty's right," said Kurt, who was now sitting next to Kitty. "It says that you have to go to the mausoleum in the center of the cemetery and vait for further instructions."

"Fine," said Rogue. "Who's my partner?"

"You have to do it solo," said Kitty softly.

Rogue swallowed hard, as she felt a hand fall upon her shoulder. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Rogue," said Scott.

"I'm fine," said Rogue. She walked towards the door and turned the knob. The door opened with the familiar squeak and Rogue turned to look back towards her friends. "See you guys at the finish line." The door closed behind Rogue, and the remaining students turned their attention to screen. Their eyes followed a purple dot move slowly towards the mausoleum on the computer screen.

The dot finally stopped and they each heard Rogue's voice in their headsets. "I made it guys. What do I do now?"

"The instructions say that there is an open tomb inside. Inside the tomb is a box. You have to retrieve the box," reported Kitty. "The only bad news is that I have to disconnect your communicator."

"No way," said Scott.

"I'll be fine, Scott," said Rogue. "Remember it's just a game. We see this kind of thing on MTV all the time." After a brief moment of silence Rogue asked, "What do I do after that?"

"You just vait there for one of us to come and get you," said Kurt.

"Right," said Rogue. "Well, here I go." Suddenly, there was a click in the headset and the purple dot on the screen disappeared. Rogue placed her hand on the door of the mausoleum and pushed it opened. The room was completely abandoned. At the end other of the building, one of the tombs was opened. Inside of the tomb was the box Rogue was supposed to retrieve.

A smile began to spread across Rogue's face as she started towards the tomb. Once Rogue was about half way, she heard something moving in the room. She paused to look around the room, but found no one there. She started walking towards the tomb again, but this time was interrupted by a different sound, a voice.

"Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch," whispered the voice. Rogue searched the room again but found no one there. The voice sounded again, only little louder and closer. "Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch."

"All right guys, this isn't funny," said Rogue. She searched around the room as her voice filled the room as an echo. By now, she was only a few feet from the open tomb. Rogue glanced at the open tomb and the box inside. Instinctively, she grabbed it and ripped the box open. Inside she found a black cell phone. Rogue picked up the phone, and it rang to life in her hands. Rogue flipped the phone open and lifted it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hello Rogue," said a distorted voice, "what's your favorite scary movie?"

"Ha-ha," sighed Rogue. "Very funny."

"Are you ready to scream, Marie?" asked the voice on the phone.

"Listen I'm tired of these games. Tell me what I'm supposed to do," said Rogue, sounding slightly annoyed.

"I'm going to better than that, Rogue," said the voice. "I'm going to tell you what not to do, okay. Whatever you do, don't turn around."

"Huh?" said Rogue as she turned around. Rogue found herself face-to-face with a man wearing a hockey mask. His suit was red down the middle and the legs and arms of the suit were trimmed with a black stripe running down each side. The masked man raised foot and kicked Rogue in the abdomen. The blow slammed her against the stone tombs. The masked assailant then raised his foot and jammed it across Rogue's throat. Rogue grasped the foot and tried to remove it, but couldn't.

"Sleep tight, princess," said the masked man.

Rogue's eyes became heavier and heavier as she felt the life being choked out of her. Rogue's arms slowly fell from around the foot to her sides. Once her eyes closed and her head began to sag, the masked man removed his foot. Rogue fell to the floor unconscious. The masked man bent down and picked the girl's lifeless body up and placed it inside the open tomb. Then, he shut the open door, leaving Rogue trapped inside the tomb.

The masked man pulled the hockey mask off of his face. Underneath the mask was another mask. A red mask, with black circles around the eyes. It was Deadpool. The mercenary started to chuckle as he headed for the door. 

"This is the threat that I was hired to eliminate," sighed Deadpool. "Boy it's hard to find good prey these days." Deadpool exited the mausoleum in search of his next target.

The screen came to life once again, and another set of instructions came up. After glancing across the screen, Kitty turned around to face the other kids. Her eyes fell upon each of her friends as she looked at them. "Well," announced Kitty, "it looks like you're up next, Evan."

Evan checked his headset and exited the door. As he started walking, Kitty gave him his instructions. He was to head towards the edge of the graveyard where he would find a cave. His mission is to search the cave for a box containing loot hidden from grave robbers. Once he recovered the box, he was to wait under radio silence for further instructions. After a brisk walk, Evan found the cave and started to venture inside.

"Okay, guys, I'm running silent," said Evan. On the screen, an orange dot disappeared and Evan's head sit clicked off.

Evan moved through the cave with his hand against the wall. As Evan moved deeper into the cave the wall became smoother and smoother. Eventually, the floor became slippery as well. Evan began to lose his footing. Evan slipped and fell to the ground. The slippery floor carried Evan's body deeper and deeper into the cave. Eventually, Evan's body was deposited into an open cavern in the cave.

Evan made his way to his feet and looked around the cavern. It was obvious that it would be too difficult to go the way he came, so he decided to find another way. Evan walked a few feet and found a small pond. Evan walked towards the pond and bent down. He dipped his hand in the water and splashed some of the cool liquid on his face. Evan wiped the water on his face and looked in front of himself to find what looked like a treasure chest.

Evan walked around the small pond to find that the object was a treasure chest. Evan tried to pry the lock over, but it was useless. Evan produced a thin pin-like bone spike to pick the lock. After a few seconds of working the lock, he heard a loud click. Evan lifted the chest and opened. The sight inside the chest caused Evan to stumble backwards to the ground and clutch his heart.

Inside Evan had found a head. Evan crawled back towards the chest and looked at the head again. He tapped the head, but nothing happened. He tapped it again and waited, but the head remained motionless. A smile started to spread across Evan's face as a sense of relief began to wash over him.

"Whew!" Evan sighed. "For a moment, I thought you were real." 

Evan looked at the head once again and noticed the red mask with the black circles around the eyes. As he studied the head, he started to place his around the head and lift it out of the box. All of a sudden, the eyes fluttered open and looked up at Evan.

"Ahhh!" screamed Evan as Deadpool burst out of the chest. "What are you?!"

"Your worst nightmare!" said Deadpool as he reached behind back. As he brought his hand back into view, Evan noticed that there was a kitana blade in his hand. Deadpool swung the sword at Evan, which was barely blocked by one of Evan's larger bone spikes. As Deadpool pulled back for another attack Evan rolled away and got to his feet.

"As far as I'm concerned, this nightmare is over!" shouted Evan. Evan reached back and threw his spike. The spike landed in left Deadpool's shoulder. 

Deadpool looked down at the spike and shook his head disapprovingly. "I really wish you hadn't done that," said Deadpool. Upon seeing his attack hadn't slowed Deadpool down, Evan started to run. Deadpool threw a bag of powder in front of Evan that exploded when it hit the ground. From the ground a cloud of smoke emerged and Evan ran through it. Once he was inside the cloud, Evan began coughing and became dizzy. He grasped his head and slowly stumbled to the ground.

Deadpool started to approach the unconscious teen as the smoke cleared. Once he made it to Evan, he sheathed his sword and pulled the spike out of his shoulder and looked at the wound. After a few seconds, the wound began to seal itself. Deadpool dropped the spike to the ground and lifted the boy over his shoulder.

"Well now," said Deadpool sounding like an old southerner, "looks like I dun bagged meself a whopper!" Laughter filled the cavern as Deadpool carried Evan out of the cave, ready to take down his next victim.

"Scott and Jean are next," said Kitty.

"I don't like this," said Scott. "We haven't heard from the others yet. Maybe something's wrong here."

"Scott, it's just a game," said Kurt. "They vant to get us vorried. Don't sveat it, man. The others are fine. Besides, the game vill be over soon."

"Come on, Scott," said Jean as she started to pull at his arm, "the sooner we get this over with, the sooner you can relax." Jean tugged Scott out of the door, and the red and pink dots started to move away from the shack on the map.

"All right guys, there's a fresh gravesite about half a kilometer west of your position," reported Kitty. "According to the instructions, you have to finish digging the grave. Once you've reached the bottom, you'll find a clue to where the others are."

"Now, don't you feel better?" said Jean. "We'll be able to find the others as soon as we finish the mission."

"Sorry, guys," interrupted Kitty. "The instructions say that I have to cut your radios now. Good luck." The headsets clicked and the dots disappeared from the screen. Scott and Jean continued to walk through the Graveyard. As they did so, the looked at the headstones. As they continued to walk it seemed that they kept hearing noises coming from the graves.

"There it is, Scott," said Jean. She pointed towards a grave resting on the top of a hill. Next to it was a pile of dirt and a single shovel. Both of the teens walked towards the grave. Scott climbed inside and grabbed the shovel and started digging. "Having fun?"

Scott paused to look up at Jean who was wearing a smile on her face. The smile on her face actually caused Scott to smile. "I'd feel a little better knowing that I wasn't the only one getting dirty," replied Scott. Scott reached into the grave and threw a handful of dirt onto Jean's blouse. "Now I feel a lot better, how about you?"

Jean grabbed Scott's head and rubbed it into dirt at the mouth of the grave. When Scott pulled his head up, his face was covered with dirt, and so were his glasses. After a series of giggles escaped their mouths, Jean sighed and said, "Hand me your glasses and I'll clean them for you."

Jean grabbed Scott's glasses and rubbed the lenses clean with her blouse. When she was done, she placed the glasses back onto Scott's face. "All right, let's finish up so we can get out of here," said Scott. He dug a little deeper until he found a sheet of paper in the grave. "What's this?"

Scott picked up the note a read it aloud. " 'The clue you're searching for is right underneath your feet and all around you.' What is that supposed to mean?" Scott looked down and a hand shot through the ground and grasped his neck. Suddenly what appeared to be a zombie began to rise out of the grave and lift Scott Summers into the air.

"Scott!" shouted Jean. She used her telekinetic powers to lift the shovel and use it to knock the zombie's arm off. Scott fell back into the grave and fired an optic blast. The zombie flew to pieces and fell to the ground.

"Thanks, Jean," said Scott. He turned to see a hand over Jean's mouth and an arm wrapped around her waist as it pulled her away from the grave. "Jean!" Scott climbed out of the grave to find that zombies were rising out of the graves around the entire cemetery. Scott fired an optic blast at the monster holding Jean. He managed to knock its head off. Jean then used her telekinetic powers to send each of the zombie's appendages flying off into different directions.

"What's going on here?" said Jean as she ran towards Scott.

"I don't know, but it's definitely not a simple radio challenge. And judging from our clue, and our current situation, the others are definitely in trouble," answered Scott.

"You know, maybe all you X-Men aren't as dumb as you look," said a voice in the distance.

"Who are you?" asked Scott.

"My young friends," said Deadpool, "welcome to Fright Night. I am your host for the evening. Please, call me, Deadpool."

"What do you want?" asked Jean.

"Well, I want nothing more than for you all to die, young Skywalker," replied Deadpool sounding like Emperor Palpatine from the _Return of the Jedi_. With that said dozens of zombies began to swarm around Scott and Jean. As they tried to fight off the horde, they noticed that the zombies were nothing more than androids.

"Scott, there are too many of them! What are we going to do?!" asked Jean.

"We have to hold out as long as we can!" shouted Scott over the sounds of combat.

"I can't hold out any longer!" cried Jean.

Scott turned around to find that the zombies had overwhelmed her. "Jean! No!" yelled Scott. He fired optic blasts at the zombies on top of Jean. Once he had cleared them away from around her, he felt them already clamping onto his back. Scott fell to the ground reaching for Jean. The zombies continued to climb onto their backs pulling and tugging at the two teens. Scott continued to crawl forward and only stopped when his hand reached Jean's.

"Uh!" said Deadpool in disgust. "Teenage love! It's so… so… icky!" Deadpool pressed a few buttons on his wristwatch and the zombies began to rise. They lifted the unconscious bodies of Scott Summers and Jean Grey into the air and carried them after Deadpool as he marched through the cemetery.

"Vell Kitty," said Kurt. "It looks like I'm up." Kurt headed for the door and paused. He turned around to find Kitty sitting at the console. "Vill you be okay?"

"I'll be fine," said Kitty. "Good luck out there, Fuzzy-elf"

Kurt waved and double-checked the holographic imager on his watch before he stepped out the door. Kurt was supposed to head to the large oak tree in the center of the cemetery, and find something out of the ordinary. He ran across the cemetery until he reached his destination. "I'm here, Kitty," he said.

"Yeah, I see ya, Elf," said Kitty over the head set as she stared at the blue dot. "Time to cut the link. Bye." The blue dot disappeared and the headset clicked.

Kurt looked around and waited at the tree. "Now vat am I supposed to find around here?" Kurt asked himself. He glanced at the area around him and surveyed the ground carefully. Then, Kurt saw something that caught his attention. "Vow! Vas ist das?" Kurt held the object into the light. It was a sticky substance, but practically unbreakable, like a spider's web. "I think I found it!"

"No, no, stupid! That's not what you're supposed to find," said a voice from above.

Kurt traced the voice back to its owner. A masked man was lounging in the tree. He placed his hand on the branch he was sitting on and swung from it to the ground. He landed in front of Kurt. Kurt looked at the masked man from head to toe. He marveled at the red suit trimmed in black as well as the red mask with the black circles.

"Vow! I don't believe it! I'm such a big fan of yours!" said Kurt to Deadpool.

"Y-you are?" asked Deadpool slightly perplexed.

"Of course I am," said Kurt. "I never believe that stuff they print about you in the papers. You're not a criminal! As a matter of fact you're my hero!"

"Well I…. Wait a minute! What do you mean I'm not a criminal?" asked Deadpool.

"Everyone knows that Spider-man is only the coolest super-hero ever," said Kurt. Then, he noticed a hint of annoyance beneath the mask of Deadpool. "You are Spider-man aren't you?"

"Gee, I don't know," said Deadpool. "Why don't you tell me? Can Spider-man do this?" Deadpool extended his hand at Kurt and a silver line shot from his wrist. When the line touched Kurt's chest, volts of electricity moved through the cord and into Kurt's body.

"Ahhhhhh!" shouted Kurt. As he screamed, his holographic imager began to flicker and his holographic image was replaced with his actual blue fur and tail. Kurt's body fell to the ground unconscious and smoking.

"Gee, I guess I'm not Spider-man after all, huh?" said Deadpool to Kurt's unconscious body. Deadpool looked around the cemetery and set his eyes upon the shack. A smile began to spread on his face behind the mask as he whispered, "And then there was one."

Kitty sat in the shack staring at the computer waiting for the final message to come onto the screen. All she could see was her own yellow dot, staying put in the shack on the computer screen. Then, she noticed something different. A dot was moving towards her. A single black dot.

Kitty rose out of her chair and glanced back at the door. Who was supposed to be black? None of her friends were assigned that color. Kitty turned her attention back to the screen. A message had appeared on the screen. Once she read it Kitty rose out of her seat and backed away from the computer.

Tears began to form in Kitty's eyes, as she realized that this had all been a trick. A trick that led her friends into danger, and a trick that was going to cost all of them their lives. Kitty looked at the message again: All around the Graveyard, the hunter chased the X-Men. Now the fun's done, and I got to run… Boom ! Goes the Kitten !

Kitty saw her yellow dot start to fade from the map. Filled with fear and terror, she turned a raced towards the door. She reached for the knob and began to turn, but it was too late. The sound of the explosion seemed to carry on for miles. The flames rose high into the air, and Deadpool could do nothing but admire his handy work as debris fell from the sky. Deadpool reached into his pocket to produce another cigar. He rolled up his mask and placed the cigar between his lips. He searched his pockets for his lighter, but couldn't find it.

Deadpool pulled the cigar from his mouth and placed the edge next to burning piece of wood from the shack that had fallen next to him. The cigar came to life as it started to burn on one end. "Thanks for the light, Kitty," said Deadpool. 

He searched his own pockets and pulled out Scott's cell phone. "Well, I think it's about time to call the guest of honor," said Deadpool to himself. He turned the phone on and pressed the home auto-dial. The phone started ringing. After a few rings, Logan answered the phone.

"This ain't funny, Summers!" said Logan. "You kids mighta thought your little psychic prank was hilarious, but when you get home you'll know differently!"

"Logan, Logan," said Deadpool. "Is that anyway to answer the phone?"

"Who is this?" asked Logan. His tone was more cautious now. "How did you get that phone?"

"Don't tell me you've forgotten this 'ol Weapon X war-horse," teased Deadpool.

"Wilson?" asked Logan.

"That's right, Wolverine," said Deadpool. "And if you want what's left of your kids, I think you better get down to the Graveyard."

"Oh, I'm comin' all right 'Pool," said Logan, "but if you've harmed one hair on those kids…."

"Oops!" interrupted Deadpool. "It looks like you're already too late Logan." Logan dropped the phone and rushed out the front door, as laugher from the phone filled the X-mansion.

TO BE CONCLUDED…


	3. 

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, or any of its original characters

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, or any of its original characters. Nor do I have any type of claim to those characters. However, the characters of my creation belong to me, and cannot be used without my permission.

****

The Last Laugh

(Pool Party Part III)

By

Moonchampion

The motor on Logan's motorcycle fell silent as he turned the ignition and pulled off his helmet. Logan climbed off the bike and dropped the helmet on the ground. He started towards the gate of the cemetery. As he approached the gate, he looked to his left and found Scott's convertible untouched. Logan refocused his attention on the cemetery. A low growl erupted from Logan's lips. He paused for a moment, then began to pull his jacket off. He tossed the bit of leather clothing back towards his bike and unleashed his adamantium claws.

Logan took a deep breath and started to sprint through the gate. The moment he crossed the threshold, the iron gates swung close. Only seconds after the gate closed, did the sound of machine guns filled the air. Bullets began to fly past Logan's head and around his feet as he raced deeper into the cemetery.

Logan realized he was being herded somewhere. The bullets weren't enough to kill Logan, and Deadpool knew that as well. The weapons fire was being used to push Logan exactly where Deadpool wanted him to be. If this were true, then Logan was being herded directly into a trap.

Logan came to a complete spot and turned around to find the source of the bullets. He found two machine guns perched on top of stone pillars on both sides of the gate. Logan turned around and started to charge towards the gate. As Logan got closer, he could feel some of the bullets tear at his skin. Nevertheless, he refused to let the pain stop him. He continued forward until he was only a few feet away from the gate. Logan leaped into the air, and with the swipe of his adamantium claws, easily demolished the machine guns.

"I must admit," said a voice from behind, "I'm impressed."

Logan turned around to find his enemy standing across from him dressed in a red and black suit. Deadpool was also sporting a gun belt with two machine guns, and a sword scabbard on his back. The red mask with the black circles around the eyes hid Deadpool's face, but not his expression. Logan could see that the wisecracking mercenary was pleased.

"Deadpool," growled Logan. Logan's black tattered T-shirt rose and fell with Logan's chest as he breathed in and out. "I'm only gonna say this once. Hand over the kids."

"I'm sorry, Logan," began Deadpool, "I just can't do that. You see, just like you, I've become… attached to these kids. They seem to grow on ya, know what I mean?" Deadpool pointed towards an oak tree resting on top of a hill. The young mutants were all tied up. Their wrists were tied to a rope, which left them suspended in mid air from several branches.

"Where's the other one 'Pool?" asked Logan. He had counted the suspended bodies and realized that Kitty was nowhere to be found.

"Oh right," said Deadpool, as if he had just remembered a minor detail. "I'm afraid Miss Pryde won't be joining us this evening."

"What're you talking about?" said Logan as he raised his claws slightly.

"What can I say?" shrugged Deadpool. "Something blew up at the last minute."

Logan looked around the cemetery, and for the first time, he noticed the scattered debris of the shack. Smoke was still rising from the ashes and the remains of the shack. Logan could feel the rage building inside of him. Logan quickly lunged towards Deadpool. The mercenary drew his sword and spun on his heel to avoid the attack. Logan's claws began to slash out at Deadpool, but luckily Deadpool managed to deflect the attacks with his sword.

Both of the warriors continued to exchange blows. The clangs of metal against metal filled the cemetery. Sparks began to erupt from the clashes as the fight progressed. After numerous exchanges, Deadpool moved in close and drove his knee into Logan's mid-section. The mercenary then, twirled and drove the butt of his sword into Logan's face. Just as Logan refocused his attention on the enemy, Deadpool's foot came smashing into Logan's face. Logan hit the ground, and rolled with the impact. Logan slowly rose to his feet. Deadpool pulled a small handgun from his belt and fired. Several projectiles lodged themselves into Logan's body. Logan fell back to the ground struggling to move. Deadpool stood his ground waiting for Logan to compose himself.

"What did you do to me?" asked Logan.

"Those darts were laced with neuro-toxins. You'll be paralyzed for a little while. But don't worry, I'll finish you off long before you healing factor kicks in. Need anymore pieces of the puzzle put together for you, Einstein?"

"What happened to Kitty?" asked Logan, after finally getting his rage under control.

"Well, ya know how kids are today," began Deadpool, now mimicking the voice of the Godfather. "When ya don't give 'em what they want, they uh… they go to pieces on you. Ya know?" A small chuckle began to escape from Deadpool.

"No. Not Kitty?" whispered Logan to himself as he shook his head slightly.

"Uh!" grunted Deadpool in disgust. "This is so, embarrassing. I have to admit Logan I used to think you were the toughest cookie in the bunch. But, I guess Creed was right about you. When it comes down to it… you're a major _wuss_. I'll do you a favor, and put you out of your misery." Deadpool pulled his sword from his scabbard, and lined it up with Logan's neck. "Hasta la vista, Wolvie," said Deadpool mimicking Arnold Schwarzenegger.

As Deadpool brought the sword down to Logan's neck, a red beam clashed into the sword, sending it soaring in the opposite direction. Deadpool turned his head to follow the direction of the sword, as its blade became lodged in a tree. When Deadpool turned around, he found Kurt next to Logan's paralyzed body.

The blue-furred teen smile at the wisecracking assassin. "Aufwiedersehen," said Deadpool as he and Logan teleported out of sight.

Deadpool then allowed his attention to fall on the are from which the red beam had originated. Standing next to the gate, Deadpool saw the X-Men. Scott was standing next to the gate with his hands on the rim of his ruby-quartz shades. He was obviously waiting for the opportunity to lift his glasses and unleash another volley of his optic blast. The other X-Men were filing into Scott's convertible and helping Logan into the car as well.

"Well, well, well," said Deadpool as he started to walk towards the gate. "I must admit, you munchkins aren't as helpless as you look. But, I'm curious how did get free?"

"You should remember, that all cats have nine lives," said Kitty as she phased through the bars of the gate and stood next to Scott. "I decided to phase just before the explosion. Then, I hid and waited for the chance to free my friends," explained Kitty.

"The rest of you get going," said Scott to the others. "We'll be right behind you."

"Do you two really think you can take me?" said Deadpool as he continued to approach Scott and Kitty.

"Yeah, we think we can, but not here," said Scott. "We've played on your turf, but now it's your turn to play by _our_ rules. Meet us at the mansion in one hour. We'll see how you like the game when you don't have the home field advantage."

"Unless you're chicken," added Kitty.

"Oh you kids are on," said Deadpool. "And once I beat you kids, maybe I'll finally get some respect!"

"Maybe," said Scott as he started the motor of Logan's bike. Kitty climbed on behind him and put the helmet over her head. As she wrapped her arms around his waist, Scott revved up the motorcycle a few times. "However, I wouldn't hold my breath."

With that last remark, Scott and Kitty rode off after their friends in the convertible. Deadpool continued forward, and stared at his prey as they left him alone in the graveyard. _One hour_, Deadpool thought to himself. _Hmm, I can probably wrap this up in time to catch the last bit of Letterman_.

Deadpool strolled up front door of the mansion. As he got closer, he noticed that the door was left open. He pushed the door open, and the creak broke the silence of the dark mansion. Deadpool took a few cautious steps into the house. His footsteps filled the halls with a loud echo. "Hallo, Lucy! I'm home!" shouted Deadpool into the silence, sounding like Ricky Ricardo from _I Love Lucy_.

The house remained silent. Deadpool continued to search the house, as he walked further and further into the mansion. Without any warning, an explosion blasted directly in front of his face. Out of the ball of light appeared Nightcrawler. The blue-furred mutant pounced on top of Deadpool, and both mutants disappeared in another flash, as Nightcrawler teleported both of them out of the main hall.

Deadpool reappeared, with his back resting on the floor. The momentum of Nightcrawler's attack, forced threw the young X-Man off of Deadpool. When the scarlet assassin moved into position to attack, Nightcrawler had disappeared in the shadows, laughing. "Come out, come out wherever you are, you little blue devil," called Deadpool into the darkness.

As the laughter died down, Deadpool studied his surroundings, and found that he wasn't in the main hall anymore. Nightcrawler must have teleported him to another part of the house, but where. All he could see around him were shadows. All of a sudden, the room became filled with lights. The sudden change in the lighting caught Deadpool off guard. He brought his arms to up to shield his face from the brightness of the lights.

"Heads up!" shouted a voice. Deadpool turned around, and found something smash directly into his face. Spyke had produced a large bone club and swung it directly into Deadpool's head. The impact threw Deadpool off his feet as he grasped his face. Spyke, on his skateboard, had rolled directly past the mercenary a second time laughing at him.

"All right kiddies, knock it off! Why don't you come out and fight face-to-face!" called Deadpool. The darkness engulfed the room again. Deadpool began to face every direction, searching for the next attack.

The lights came back on, and Deadpool felt someone tap him on his shoulder. As he turned around, a foot smashed into his face. "How about foot-to-face?!" shouted Rogue as she delivered another kick to his mid-section, followed by a quick roundhouse to his head. Before Deadpool could regain his balance, the lights went off again. Rogue's laughter filled the darkness, and Deadpool became more and more annoyed.

"Stop laughing! All of you! Don't you know who I am?!" shouted Deadpool.

Before the lights could come back on, the darkness was illuminated with a brief flash of red light. The red beam crashed into the chest of Deadpool. As the lights came back on, Deadpool found himself on the floor against the wall. He saw his attacker, Cyclops, approaching him with a smile on his face, chuckling softly to himself.

Deadpool began to push himself off of the floor. "Stop laughing," whispered Deadpool. "Stop laughing!" Deadpool started to charge towards Cyclops, but found himself moving nowhere. He looked down at his feet and found his feet hovering above the ground. Then, he heard the giggles of girl. He turned to see Jean Grey laughing at him as he lay weightless in the air. Another optic blast drove him back against the wall, where he slid back to the floor. The room began to fill with laughter as all the X-Men appeared and began to surround Deadpool.

"Ha-ha," teased Deadpool as he stood on his feet. "You guys are real funny." Once he was on his feet, a felt a soft kick hit his rear. He spun around to find Shadowcat laughing loudly and pointing at her. "That wasn't funny!" Deadpool swung at her, but his fist passed right through her head. Deadpool lodged at her again, but she started to run towards the wall. Deadpool chased after her. As Shadowcat phased through the wall, Deadpool's fist collided with the metal wall of the Danger Room. The assassin grasped his hand wincing in pain.

"This isn't fun--," began Deadpool. However, he was unable to finish as Wolverine appeared and slammed Deadpool against the wall. 

"Well 'Pool, it looks like you got beat with your own mind games, huh?" Wolverine's grasp around Deadpool's throat was tight enough to keep him in place. Yet, to discourage any other movements, Wolverine had his claw resting against Deadpool's cheek.

"Game's over, Wilson, and you lose," said Wolverine. "Looks like your attempt to become 'the best there is' just got flushed."

"Maybe," began Deadpool, "but I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for that stupid dog and those pesky kids." Deadpool glanced over at Nightcrawler with a sly grin on his face.

"Who are you calling a dog?" asked Nightcrawler.

"Wilson, I think it's time you got lost," said Wolverine. Then, he brought his face closer to Deadpool's. "I think it's time you got lost for a long, long time."

"What're you talking about?" asked Deadpool.

"It looks like you're _our_ grand prize winner," said Kitty. "And you've just won an all-expense paid, one way vacation."

"To Tahiti?" asked Deadpool hopefully.

"Not quite," said Wolverine. Then, Deadpool noticed he was getting drowsy. The images around him began to become blurry. Before he completely blacked out, he noticed a small syringe Logan had placed against his neck while he was holding his throat. Then, he slipped slowly into the darkness.

Deadpool began to stir awake. He rolled about the ground and found himself resting on sand. The scarlet mercenary opened his eyes to see the ocean in front of him. As he pulled himself up, he found that he was on a beach. A smile began to form underneath his mask. _This isn't so bad_, thought Deadpool to himself. Then, he turned to find that only about thirty feet away, past a few coconut trees, the ocean. Deadpool searched the entire island from where he was now sitting. He wasn't on a tropical paradise, he was on an isolated island no larger than his apartment.

"LOGAN!!!" shouted Deadpool, as the waves of the ocean rolled up against the shores of the small island.

"You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I'll be glad when Spring Break is over," said Kitty. The other students groaned in approval as they made their way into the kitchen for breakfast.

"Is Logan still out dealing with Deadpool?" asked Evan.

"Yeah, he said he was going to drop him somewhere in the Pacific. So, he'll be gone for a couple of hours," explained Jean.

As they took their seats around the kitchen table, the phone rang. Eventually, Kitty made her way over to the phone and answered it. "Hello."

"Good morning. This is Zack "the Wildman" Owens, the morning deejay at WDED 91.1. You are this morning's lucky winner. What's your name, kid?"

"I'm sorry, you have the wrong number!" said Kitty as she hung up the phone. The others looked at her, as she sat down.

"Who vas it, Kitty?" asked Kurt.

"Another radio giveaway contest, saying we're the winners," responded Kitty.

Looks of terror were exchanged from the kids around the table. The phone rang again. "I'm not really hungry," said Scott. "Anyone up for heading to the beach?" The other students rose from their seats, nodding with approval, and headed out the door to Scott's convertible. Meanwhile, on the other end of the phone, Professor Xavier wandered where everyone could be so early in the morning.

THE END


End file.
